Do Mullaon Mai Murghi Haram Part II

Ok so this is certainly not related to the previous post that I wrote here, and is at long end from what Im going to be asking and explaining in this post. My question here is for all the Married Men out there (targeting the Muslim Men), why do they believe that they should have a Second Wife or a Third One in some cases. As for the views from شرع‎ I know that a Man has been given the right to marry more than 1 woman, but why do our men keep on forgetting the other parts of the Islamic Law like:

  • It is better to support a woman who is helpless.
  • Who is either a widow or an orphan or a divorcee.
  • She is not well-off, has kids and nobody to support her.
  • You must then attain complete harmony among your previous and your new families

But why do Men drool for women who are the opposite for what has been described, I can always see a poor helpless widow/divorcee woman on the road begging but I cant see no man willing to marry her. Is it just to have the taste of another woman(sorry to say it in this manner)in a legalized cum religious way? or is it just to torture the one who is already at home. I agree there are times when a man gets married again for the sake of having an off spring. In some cases I have even seen wives asking their husbands to get married again so that they are not left out from having a child. But their are cases when the 1st wife doesn’t even have a clue what her husband is upto at her back for the past so many years. I remember I read an article on a similar topic where a woman describes her story something like:

“We just came back from our daughter’s wedding, and my husband went for a quick shower. Meanwhile his mobile rang and I picked it up, it was a text message. And after reading that my eyes wouldn’t believe what had just passed by. I quickly checked up the rest of the messages in his inbox and found out that it wasn’t a Wrong Number. My husband was married to a woman for as long as i can think of without me even knowing that.”

So this is the thing that I just cant get, why does a Man need another woman/partner when he already has one. If he thinks she isnt good enough than he should be a mind reader just to get to know what his wife really thinks about him. Why dont they think that nobody is perfect neither a man nor a woman (except that a Man has a disease where he thinks he is Perfect), but most of the times the reason given to a wife for her being imperfect are seriously pathetic. They cant do justice to a single woman how can they pretend to be looking after 2-3 women at the same time along with their kids.

The thought for writing this post came when a few weeks ago I saw a news on an Indian News Channel where a Man has been arrested for having 14 WIVES, now as far as our religion and law is concerned polygamy is allowed contrary to the Indian law where nothing of this sort can happen unless you are divorced. But I must say that this man had guts and time and some extra nerves to sustain his balance among those 14 women. He used to check out for a new wife after 3rd month of his previous successful marriage. His options were online matrimonial sites where he filled himself up as a Divorced Man with a handsome salary looking for an upper class working hindu girl who can be divorced or a widow. So after every 3-4 months he was with a new woman on another honeymoon trip and back from the trip he would again start looking for her new companion. Though he tried to maintain a balance among them by visiting each wife 3 days and leaving at the call of a fake meeting at a far of place somewhere in India.,this way nobody ever noticed for a long time for what was going on, until his discussions with his new wife to whom he exclaimed that he wont be having any problem if she had extra marital affairs, this shocked the new wife and her instincts to better keep a check on the guy before something goes over the head. And that was the end to his happy life with his 14 wives. For what he said on his behalf was:

“I didn’t do anything wrong, Im better then people who have illicit relationships without even being married, Im better because I have legal *** with them”

So this was all about having Legal ***??? I mean is this the only thing that is up for in a relationship and is the only reason why a man is looking for a new wife??


9 thoughts on “Do Mullaon Mai Murghi Haram Part II

  1. Haris Gulzar says:

    This is a nice topic to be brought under discussion, and although I am not married (not even once :-P), still I'd like to comment.

    There are many faces to the question you asked. Why don't you think men prefer widows or divorced women the first time they are marrying? The reason I can think of is, they want their wives to be theirs ONLY. I guess the same can apply if they're marrying the 2nd time, or the third… Although it really would be good if men prefer to help out ladies who dont have anyone to support them and have kids as well, or those who are divorced or widows, not only for their 2nd marriage, but for their first marriage as well…

    As for going for the 2nd marriage, IF a person thinks he can keep balance between 2 wives (or more), and can take up all of their expenses and the expenses of children, and can make sure to provide a comfortable life to all of them (not necessarily making all wives live together), then there shouldn't be any one stopping him…

    For the question of wanting to have ***, men definitely have an inclination towards having it. Right or wrong, but thats natural… But going for several marriages ONLY for this reason is NO JUSTIFICATION WHATSOEVER. (Sorry for being too blunt)

  2. 3rAgoN says:

    thOugh i m unMarrieD….bT iN mY PoInt ov ViEw ..itS da jahalAt and a lifE with unprECtiCeD iSlam…dAt leAds majoRiTy oV men in OuR sociEty Too SucH idiOt anD [sencored] deEdX…:)

  3. Fadey says:

    Yes I agree with u. I discourage the 2nd marriage but if still someone wants to do it then he must follow some rules.

    1) Ask ur 1st wife abt it and respect hr decision.
    2) Must look for some poor or widow as Nikki said in this post
    3) Must give equal rights 2 all of wives.

    Third point is the most imp thing which Islam teaches that many men forget. They only know we r allowed to keep 4 wives but they don't know who to treat them and how to give equal rights like our Prophet gave. Of course Prophet Muhammad SAWW is an example for us.

  4. Sana says:

    @Haris: Yes I agree to ur points, but there are other sides of the coin as well. Boys dont marry a widow/divorcee coz they arent allowed too from their Parents. A guys Mother would never ever look for a divorced girl for the first time he gets married and neither for the 2nd or 3rd time. The point again arises that a Man always thinks that he should be a sole owner of his spouse but is also applicable otherwise that a woman too cannot bear to share her life partner with another woman.Where as a Man wants to have a “Virgin” wife, no matter for the 1st or the 2nd time. A woman married to a man can never have another husband so there is no point of sharing but a Man is allowed to have 2-3 relationships simultaneously. Point arises that in todays circumstances a man can never keep a balance among us women, coz they will certainly make his life hell. Resulting that the Nail gets attracted either towards the South or North Pole. And in total agreement with the last point, but there are other natural processes as well to be thinking about other then that one!

  5. Sana says:

    @Siras: yeah they make it twisted themselves 😛

    @3raGon: It was hard reading yr comment in the first time but the somehow I managed to get it 😛 And yes it is an outcome of Jahalat and Twisting the religion for ur own good 😛

  6. farooqk says:

    there's too much cultural baggage in our part of the world. Marrying a divorcee or a widow is not something even the most 'religious' of mothers would approve of, let along agree upon. Although its definitely a great thing to do, religion is just one of the many tools our society uses to get its way.

    I asked a friend of mine the other day about what she would do if her husband said he was gonna marry again, and she gave me the most intelligent and mature answer i have ever heard… She said that religion allows him to have a second wife, and she would not condone him for something that Allah (SWT) allows him, however, she would personally be unable to live with this person anymore and would simply request that he let her have a divorce.
    I suppose though that this might seem irrational to a lot of ppl.

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