Level of insanity: Self Destruction

Ever felt a scream somewhere inside that is just pressing hard against the throat and it seems  as if everything will be vanished if you let it out? Lord save me from the one that Im holding inside for now I believe I’ve entered the realm of insanity. Where I’ve forgotten how to cry and I hate myself for doing it in all the wrong ways. Im in agony from which you’ve always been unknown and so it seems you shall remain ignorant throughout life. Im alone in it, not by choice but with no other option since you can’t feel it. You cant feel me inside, if you could see what I’m right now with your eyes all shut, I would be hearing your echo in my insane silence, calling out my name with a voice soft as satin. All I hear around me are my own moans and cries from nights before, hours right now, and if forbidden; years ahead. I dont see anything else with my eyes either dead or alive but for what has been engraved.

Let me go before I sacrifice myself in the path of the perfect love that I bear and shamefully die to hear you say; ‘ This was just meant to be ‘.



Salgirah hai jee..

Al hum du lil Allah!

Phewww, finally months of planning and working has finally paid off 🙂 Have celebrated an amazing friend’s super awesome birthday 😀

From planning the tiniest wishes till executing all the stupid ideas 😛 From planned gifts till surprise gifts, everything was a pleasure, though someone enjoyed NOT helping me in anything at all. Hmph. But yes, finally all my choices were worth it 😉

Stay blessed and enjoy your year ahead 🙂 All these efforts were for you, just to see that smile on your face, that’s all what makes it precious ❤



Where am I?

I bloody need to write, vent, scream, yell and cry. It’s been long since I have even made way to this lost identity of mine. I have changed, I have lost and found myself through months. I need to either get back being myself or explore myself on an entirely new venture.

Summer break would be a time I can say I’d opt to write. Let’s just see, let’s just see.

Edit: Is it just me or did I actually write a post 5 days less than a year?

I must have either gone mad or wild, the year behind.

The best thing an author can ask for.

Note to the reader:
on reading mathematical equations

At a number of places in this book I have resorted to the use of mathematical
formulae, unabashed and unheeding of warnings that are frequently given:
that each such formula will cut down the general readership by half. If you are a reader who finds any formula intimidating (and most people do), then I recommend a procedure that I normally adopt myself when such an offending line presents itself. The procedure is, more or less, to ignore that line completely and to skip over to the next actual line of text! Well, not exactly this; one should spare the poor formula a perusing, rather than a comprehending glance, and then press onwards. After a little, if armed with new confidence, one may return to that neglected formula and try to pick out some salient features. The text itself may be helpful in letting one know what is important and what can be safely ignored about it. If not, then do not be afraid to leave a formula behind altogether.

An interview with Jehan Ara, President P@SHA

So after a wholesome delay of about 3 weeks I’m finally done with another interview of one of the finest people that I have come across so far. Intellectual, down to earth and a teen at heart. I would like to make a general apology from Ma’am Jehan Ara for delaying all those appointments. I surely was a mess. Im Sorry… 😦

For all my readers, enjoy an awesome conversation with Jehan Ara, President of P@SHA (Pakistan Software Houses Association).

You can download the .pdf file here for better readability 🙂