You are all I desire.


Sound of Whitney Houston soothes my mind right now,’Over and over I look in your eyes, you are all I desire, you have captured me’. Desiring for something, getting something and then the phase of actually losing something, too clichéd, right? Human nature, can’t deny it, won’t accept it either. Desire is that very spark in your life that makes your days shorter and nights longer. Desiring for anything in this world makes the wait for attaining it, undesirable; more likely, unbearable. You don’t know what you’re running after, you don’t know how you’re going to get it, but all you know at the back of your mind somewhere in the silhouette of desire, that you’re going to get it.

I’ve desired for innumerable things in my life, some achieved, some forgotten and the rest lost. I regretted my failures but they were soon forgotten. I celebrated at my achievements and later on got bored of them, still I never managed to get rid of them. I never could. Why so? I pretty much can’t explain. Somewhere between the odds, may be I have the desire to hold on. Hold on to things that I have achieved with such hardships and pleasure. The moment someone, somehow loses the desire to hold on to things he/she has always wanted to have, is the time when things start to part ways. The desire to struggle for your hobby, academic achievement, or either trying to hold on to your marriage or a relationship. Don’t let those things that were once a huge part of your life, the ones that were clicking on your mind and nerves 24/7 slip away from you that easily. It takes a loser to understand the value and worth of winning and not the winner itself. You might have lost it once, but may be your desire to hold on makes it worth working for. Don’t follow the lead to your own loss. Situation might be that your unable to face your own misery, gets difficult to collect regrets and even harder to bury the sorrows. If only I could predict the amount of damage it brings, I would’ve tried to persuade each one of you to never to let go of something or someone you have truly worked for. Karma, no doubt is a bitch but you do have to become an even bigger one.

All I desire for now, is to hold on to everything that I have around me. I’ll hold on to, for now I fear the regret of losing. I fear of losing the biggest parts of my life.

Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.  The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.

~Alexandra Penney

Murder.


One day I woke up to find out that I had killed my own-self. There, there I lie beneath the bloodshed of expectations, accused of murdering the pride of my love. Ever so guilty and all so helpless. What purpose had I been left behind with? To stab him with more agony? To bruise him with anger? Nay, tis’ was time that I brought it to an end. Time to murder myself, where he is all I got, and none is that I cared, then I shall not be here. I shall not be!

 

I killed myself for the lover’s pride. I killed myself for his smile.

Salgirah hai jee..


Al hum du lil Allah!

Phewww, finally months of planning and working has finally paid off 🙂 Have celebrated an amazing friend’s super awesome birthday 😀

From planning the tiniest wishes till executing all the stupid ideas 😛 From planned gifts till surprise gifts, everything was a pleasure, though someone enjoyed NOT helping me in anything at all. Hmph. But yes, finally all my choices were worth it 😉

Stay blessed and enjoy your year ahead 🙂 All these efforts were for you, just to see that smile on your face, that’s all what makes it precious ❤

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAY!!

Differences.


I completely forgot the points I had planned to talk about. Actually, I got lost when I saw my own WP dashboard. Sarcastically, I can take a few steps backward (a few back clicks) to remind myself of what I was thinking, but it doesnt seem that I’d be able to get any of it back.

Feeling hopelessly bored right now. Too much of information, because of which I haven’t touched ANY social networking site properly (except for facebook) in quite a while. Facebook seem to take the life away from you, doesn’t it? I haven’t been in contact with those special friends whom I’ve come across through twitter and blogging and had spent months being in nano second contacts with. Im sorry, forgive me, will you?

I’ve being tightening up on relationships, pretending to be someone that I’m not. I have always had hold on my feelings and my thoughts,  but it seems that I have been loosing my grip on them both, for a while. I need to stick around to myself. No matter how hard it seems at times, to loosen your grip and feel happy for the one you love, tiny little things start making differences.

For I seek more depth within self…

Where am I?


I bloody need to write, vent, scream, yell and cry. It’s been long since I have even made way to this lost identity of mine. I have changed, I have lost and found myself through months. I need to either get back being myself or explore myself on an entirely new venture.

Summer break would be a time I can say I’d opt to write. Let’s just see, let’s just see.

Edit: Is it just me or did I actually write a post 5 days less than a year?

I must have either gone mad or wild, the year behind.